There is such great anticipation when a family have decided to adopt a dog, and no one is more excited than the kids! Most of the times things work out great, but when they don't, it is so hard for the entire family. Here are some pointers to set you up for success when you are making this very important choice of which dog will join your family and how to get off to a good start.
Selection Process
If you know what you are looking for and have some markers to go by, the more likely it is that the adoption will be a success. Here are some things to keep in mind. A dog that has a known past with kids is always a good thing. It can be from a former home or a foster situation. Another great idea is bringing the kids to meet the dog to make sure the dog really enjoys the company of the kids, and doesn't just tolerate or cope with it.
You want a dog that is perfectly fine with sharing resources. This includes toys, food, bones, spaces, and people. A dog with resource guarding issues with people is always high-risk in a family with children.
In terms of personality, you want a dog that is calm and unfazed by sounds, motion and novelty in the environment. Good with people and dogs in general. Any hyper active or easily aroused dog is going to be more of a challenge, as that mindset can easily flip over into a reaction. The same with a dog that is fearful of a lot of things. The family environment with kids is usually pretty busy, and stress can stack up. If the dog never gets a chance to relax, this can escalate even a minor situation into something bigger. A dog that interacts in a gentle manner with both mouth and body (physical space) is ideal. Dogs that are pushy and grabby can become an issue especially with smaller kids.
Dogs with one or several of the above (unwanted) characteristics, can still be great with kids, but you want to be aware of the odds. The one deal breaker would be resource guarding.
Dog Coming Home
Any dog that comes into your home will be a bit stressed as they try to figure out where they are and what it means to them. Make sure the dog has a chance to build lots of positive associations with all family members to set the tone for the future, and to make sure everyone is safe. Keep a tight ship at least the first two weeks. After that assess where you are.
- The first experience of ANYTHING will stick on your dog’s mind. Make sure you set up a situation where the dog has a good experience with the kids around.
- Keep the dog with an adult or behind a gate and ensure all interactions between dogs and children are supervised and limited. Make sure the dog learns the routine of when to eat, go out, where to sleep, etc.
- Find out what the dog likes and connect the kids with the activity. The dog likes food. They can give a Kong or treats to the dog. They can play the “find it” game where they toss a treat on the ground and when the dog orients back to the child, they toss another one. They can play with a ball if the dog likes this. They can be part of feeding meals. They can come along on walks.
- Learn to read your dog’s body language. What does the dog look like when happy and content? Wat does the dog look like when annoyed, frustrated or just tolerating something?
- Limit a lot of touch in the beginning. I know this can be hard for the kids but hugging and kissing in the face is dangerous activities with a new dog. Some dogs will tolerate it from people they know well, but some never will like it. Gentle touch with one hand for petting is it for now.
- Some simple rules to build a good relationship:
- Kids leave resting and eating dogs alone.
- Kids give to dogs but never take away.
- Kids call the dog over to see if they want to engage and leave them alone if they don’t.
- Kids play with the dog in ways that promotes the positive aspects of their relationship, and not jumping, biting or chasing. With a well-matched dog, some good ground rules, and a soft landing for the new dog this can be a life-long rewarding memory for your child.
*Article Courtesy of Vivian Leven, MS, CBCC-KA owner, coach and consultant of Positive Dog Solutions.